Cole Alpaugh, novelist
A tsunami sweeps across a South Pacific island killing everything but an old sea turtle and the girl clinging to its shell.


A giant wave rolls over tiny East Pukapuka, annihilating everything but an old sea turtle and the ten-year-old girl clinging to its shell. The child is plucked from the currents by a salvage captain named Jesus, who hums Verdi�s Rigoletto while blissfully peeing into the wind and would rather swap the blubbering snot machine for spark plugs than help her find home.

The island�s newest residents include a pair of hapless Fijian cocaine thieves, and a brain-damaged world class ski racer whose memories of home have been replaced by travel channel reruns. Looming on the horizon is a vicious member from a cannibal tourism act who�s been hired to retrieve the coke and produce a gruesome three-course video. The returning orphan girl is a niche connoisseur�s al la carte dream.

Hoping to reclaim an island oasis lost to the sea, the recent arrivals must survive a showdown against pure evil that is armed with a knife, fork, and a finger bone necklace clattering in the wind.